Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
