oh god the rape fog is back!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
