This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His hands were made for my vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
