is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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