Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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