I'm going to jail i love you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you guys were way drunker than both of me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
