i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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