My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize