Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
