I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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