Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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