I puked a lego.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize