Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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