We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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