I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no you cant smoke seaweed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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