I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
