I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
