We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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