We're like a lot better than the average bears
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize