Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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