My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
