well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize