I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
