Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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