Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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