her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
