therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
