It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
