Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
