We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
