Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
