The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Randomize
