I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
