i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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