Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
