Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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