You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
