I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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