you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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