I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
