just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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