smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
