I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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