I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
