His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize