She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
