Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize