Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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