this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
