why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
