'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
