if i can run in heels then i can drive
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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