i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
