you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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