i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
