I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
