Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
