I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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