This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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