kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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