I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sober January is a disaster.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
