i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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