Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
