do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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