i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
