Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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