dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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