All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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