the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
