Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
cat food counts as protein by the way
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Randomize
