what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize