Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
