That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
