So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
